Holding on

 As I get older I find that I know more but understand less. 

I see some of the patterns in my life.  When I struggle with self,  I find that I get extremely busy.  All of a sudden I am fighting fires in all areas of living.  Works demands increase.  Cars break.  Home needs more of everything.  Relationships need more care.  Physically I struggle and need to deal with health... 

I know the Why, the What and the When, but I don't understand the Who.

I think about life and see the forces that sway our direction.  It makes me wonder if life is a self creation or a self discovery.  I can only ponder at the purpose of life and don't understand whether we truly have free will or we simply make choices to define who we are.  Maybe our paths are simply a forge that transforms us into a specific individual.  Maybe we are gently guided and face a harder hand when we stray too far from our pre-determined path.  

So Who shakes up my life when I struggle with myself?  Is that me?  Is that God?  

Even without understanding I know that I need to hold on and keep going.  I hold onto the hope that either way I am choosing to move in the right direction.

If you are on this journey with me,  it would be nice if you said hello.  If you are shy like me, I understand. Hello from me in any case.