Dharini

 Dharini

Was there meaning to a name? Dharini felt disjointed. She longed for the grounding that her name implied. It means Earth in Hindu.

Growing up in LA there was only the sprawling mass of the city. It was a creature that gobbled up all that ventured near her. Spit out their bones and marked her reign. Built up structures to idolize her puissance.

Dharini was slowly dying. There were no loyalties to help her survive. There was only prejudice against her caramel skin. There was no sense of belonging here. Her being screamed for more. Her soul cried for respite.

Her parents had moved here when they were young. The power of money pulling them halfway around the world. Dharini was born here but felt alien in a world she never understood. Her parents' plans included college. Stanford was where they pressed her. She felt the cookie cutter of the educational system mold her form. Made her resemble all the other throngs of students. Mindless participants. The fast track to her doctorate. The hypnotic lull of the promised riches. Slave to the system.

Sometimes failures breed success. Dharini applied to the doctorate program and was accepted on the waiting list. She had been a top student. A voracious student. Followed her teacher’s instructions and more. At first she cried. How could she disappoint her parents? Then she fumed. All her efforts and high grade points meant nothing? Deep within her she reached for something to blame. She knew she had worked hard enough. It must be the color of her skin. Her heritage being laughed at and denied.

Dharini stormed into her guidance counselor’s office. Waiting list paper in hand and eyes lit with the fire of vengeance.

“What is this?” ; cut through the air and slammed against the gentle form she knew as Ms

Merchant.

“Sit down, please”; Ms. Merchant said as she pointed to a chair in front of the desk piled high with folders and papers.

With a sigh Dharini sunk into the worn wooden chair.

“But why?”

 

“We have talked about this. The post graduate department looks for well rounded individuals. Grades are only part of the criteria. You have done nothing to show other interests or community support”

Dharini looked right through Ms Merchant. The words slipping through her ears and

puddling on the floor by her feet.

“Blah, Blah, Blah... But if you want to improve your chances of receiving one of the mid-

term entries you’ll need to update your resume”

Dharini sulked out the door and wandered back to her dorm. She pretended to study but instead found herself surfing the internet. Instead of reaching her favorite blog, she found herself on the website titled Cultural Restoration Tourism Project (CRTP). It looked like she had the summer off and this website talked about projects that helped restore parts of history all over the world. Maybe she could get some ‘community support’; at the same time as a vacation.

She knew it would be exactly the kind of thing that her parents would eat up. They would have no problems coughing up the money required as a donation.

A few months later Dharini arrived at the Ulaan Baatar airport. Her destination was the Yellow Temple that was under restoration. It was situated 300 km east of the Capital of Mongolia. Her journey was just beginning but already there seemed to be peace about her. Even the disgusting camel ride did not dampen her spirits.

The views were breathtaking. Looking across the valley at the centuries old Tibetan style temple sang deeply to her heart.  The first night the group went through a ritual. The monks brought them to a rock they called ‘Mother Rock’. Here they performed a ritual of rebirth.  Dharini crawled through a hole in the rock and as she emerged from the other side the monks said a prayer over her.

They all acted out the process of birth and growth to adulthood as the monks continued with other chants.  That night Dharini slept like she had never slept before. It felt as Mother Earth held her in her bosom.

Dharini woke early and as she sat on a cold rock she could feel her calling. The Yellow Temple is just a symbol of her belonging.

Mother Earth had welcomed her home.